MM,<\/p>\n
This past Sunday was my first ritual as Summoner. It was an interesting night. Since it was a Sabbat night (Harvestide), the temple ended up quite packed. It was hard for me to keep an eye on everything going on inside the circle with a packed house and also considering my height (5’3″). Overall though, I felt I did a good job. I can get better at it, I know that already. It being my first night as Summoner, I was a tad nervous. Over time, I will just get comfortable and used to being in public so much that it should be almost second nature. I was always a little shy in front of large groups, but never quite as shy in front of people I’m comfortable with. Such is the reason I decided to do this. I wanted to get used to being in front of a large group of people whose attention would be focused on me. (In taekwondo, it occurs to me the students are more concerned with making a mistake and their own training instead of how I’m teaching them. Perhaps that is why it is easier being in front of the taekwondo students.)<\/p>\n
The ritual was an interesting ritual. Being Summoner is definitely different than being a participant. You are denied the emotional connection to divinity on one level, but are still connected on another. I did feel more grounded. This also allowed me to think about the ritual on a more practical level, and I also got to watch other people’s reactions to the ritual experience.<\/p>\n
Since it was a feast night, it was a long night. People tend to linger for a while. Since it is my duty to keep an eye on the Priestess and ensure her safetey, I stayed until she had left. Her husband was Priest for the ritual, so he did much looking out for her, which definitely helped.<\/p>\n
Overall, I think people are receptive to having a woman act as Summoner, a role traditionally given to a man of the community. I think my experience as a martial artist has helped me in this. I’m not unfamiliar with being in an authority position since I have experience teaching taekwondo. In my experience, if you are confident in what you are doing, people sense that and will be more confident in you in response.<\/p>\n
After the ritual, I was asked by some of my acquaintances and friends how I liked being Summoner so far. So far, it’s good. I like it. It is something I always wanted to do for the community. It’s something that I think suits me naturally – I’ve always had more yang energy in the sense of being active instead of yin which is associated with being passive.<\/p>\n
I was pretty tired when I got home that night. I didn’t eat much all day because I was a little sick last week. In fact, I’m still a little sick, but I’m getting over it. There has been much excitement this past week with all the new things happening and the changes occuring, but it’s dying down a bit. Hopefully, in the next few weeks I’ll feel a little more settled.<\/p>\n