MM,<\/p>\n
I’m fasting today. I got a call last week from my Wiccan teacher saying that I was to do something tonight. In addition, I needed to fast for 24 hours first. Thus, I’m fasting today. Last night, I ate some spicy shrimps and some potatoes with egg, cheese, bacon, and scallops. Yum! I want some now, but trying not to think of it. That was around 5:00 p.m. yesterday. I haven’t had any food since then. So far, I had some consomme last night. Then today, some chicken broth – two cans of it. I might have some more chicken broth before I go out tonight – leaving at 6:30. For some flavour, I decided to have a chrysanthemum infusion. There is some sweetness to the flower, so yum.<\/p>\n
I’m nervous about tonight as I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing. My guess is that I’m doing an impromptu ritual. I was told to bring my athame and my ritual gear. So, I’m a tad nervous, but trying not to be. The nervousness combined with the fast will just make me that much more tired. I’ll try to have a nap before I go out tonight.<\/p>\n
My group met last week for ritual. It was an interesting ritual. To sum up, it was a ritual where we took a retrospective look at our past choices to see how we got to where we are without beating ourselves up over our choices. This was something I’ve done many times before. I’ve always been a little introspective about my life. For some reason, I never thought to do this type of work in a ritual. In any case, the idea was a great idea. The ritual was nicely performed considering it was put together at the last possible minute. Unfortunately, I didn’t need to look at my past choices right now. I’ve spent the past six months to a year doing this, and I’ve been fine with the choices I’ve made in life, so I just feel it’s time to move on right now. Time to do the things I was meant to do. Not that I didn’t find the ritual useful – it was just the wrong time for me personally to do something like that. My life feels like it’s moving forward now, and it feels “right”. Right now, I just need to keep my objectives in mind and focus on now.<\/p>\n
Last week, I went to the full moon ritual in the park. Of course, I ended up being Priestess that night. This group is fairly small. I think it’s because people find it hard to go to the park in the colder months. That’s alright. Small groups are fine. There were four of us, my teacher, Nathan, another girl, and me. We did a ritual to show appreciation for the inventions that we have that help keep us warm and safe and healthy during the colder months. The deities called were Athena and Hephaestus. I had to make up a call to Hephaestus as well as the fire and earth elements. It was good practice for me. I still have to be conscious of my voice volume. For some reason, I adjust my voice to the amount of people present, but that doesn’t work well in the park. I need to adjust to the environment, not to the amount of people present. Ah… at least, I’m getting better at speaking indoors. Being Summoner is helping me get used to the vocal rance I need.<\/p>\n
Speaking of being Summoner, Sunday’s public ritual was about love -the many types of love. The deities called were Aphrodite and Eros. The ritual was lovely, though being Summoner I missed hearing most of it. I have to keep watch on the people as well as the Priestess. It’s strange how as Summoner I’m connected on one level, but not on another. I’m so glad I have the other group rituals to go to – I can still get my spiritual connection there as well as through my personal rituals.<\/p>\n
Okay, I’m getting tired again. No food at all. Lying here reading and a nap should help me conserve what energy I have. I can’t wait to get home tonight – I can eat then!<\/p>\n