Archive for July 27th, 2007

A reflective moment

Friday, July 27th, 2007

The gods have a way of reminding you of the important things in the world.

I went to a party on Tuesday. Amidst all the silliness, you learn much about the people around you. You learn something of yourself as well, such as a seemingly unexplainable attraction to a new young male in the community. (Though astrologically, my Moon conjuncts his Sun and his Moon trines my Sun.)

Perhaps my instincts have improved over the years. Having met this person briefly a few nights earlier, I thought he seemed intelligent and thoughtful. Tuesday at the party I observed his interactions with people. I introduced him to Nathan who’s a good judge of character, and a little party shy unless he’s talking with someone bright and interesting. They got to talking about acting and writing while I admired both of them from a distance.

What am I reminded of, you are wondering?

I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have someone like Nathan in my life. We have a totally open and honest relationship. We tell each other everything, even our little “crushes”, our admiration of other people. We are honest about this because it is natural. It is inevitable that you will find other people attractive or have some bond or something in common with someone else besides “your one and only”. We don’t think of each other as objects to be possessed (although I like to joke about him being all mine). We just value the time we share together. We value the fact that we like being together. As Nathan likes to put it, he’s just glad I’m here.

Relationships take work. Part of that is honesty, with yourself and each other. Otherwise, it will just fall apart. Relationships are not about limiting yourself – they are about expanding yourself. Relationships nurture and should allow you to learn more about yourself. I’m reminded of the things that have happened in my life that Nathan has been there to witness – all things that have helped me grow and expand as a person.

First, I was Handmaiden for a semi-private women’s group, and I was in six months of physical therapy after recovering from knee surgery. I tested and received my first dan black belt in taekwondo in the summer of 2004. I had my Dedication in March 2005. (After years of already knowing I was a pagan, I finally decided to have a Dedication.) After about five years at one do jang, I switched do jangs – not an easy thing to do once you’re a black belt (you have to get used to the new do jang and its internal social structure). I tested and received my second dan black belt at this new do jang in the summer of 2006. In September 2006, I was given the chance to be Summoner for the Toronto Temple of the WCC. In October 2006, I was Neophyted into the Odyssean tradition of Wicca.

These are all major life events that Nathan has been witness to in my life (he had to deal with my grumpiness while fasting for my Neophyting ritual). Through it all, he always encouraged me and never held me back. He encouraged me to write more (something I knew I should be doing) and to pursue my goals. No one has done more for me than he has – ever. I am eternally grateful for all he has done for me. (And yes, it is a bonus to be able to admire other attractive young men without him being jealous and possessive. Although, he is protective of me – a big difference to being possessive.) He even encourages me to have fun when life gets too serious and a tad stressful (even buying me an Emily the Strange comic book 😀 ).

For some reason the gods have decided to bless me with him in my life. I love him dearly. What would I do without him in my life, I do not know. I imagine I’d feel more lost than I already occasionally feel at times. He keeps me grounded and yet promotes my dreams and aspirations (as I also try to do for him). For those wondering what love is… well… if this isn’t love, then I’m not sure what really is.

Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame