Archive for May 13th, 2011

How SlutWalk Can Help Future Interpersonal Relationships

Friday, May 13th, 2011

From “SlutWalk Revisited”:

It is a fact of my life, as a 25-year-old female who dresses like it (meaning: I perform my gender traditionally, with the odd twist), that I cannot go outside in fine weather without having my appearance, or attire, commented on by males. You might not believe me if I told you how many times I’ve ignored a guy, or replied “leave me alone,” or—if he persists—said “fuck off,” and been consequently called “cunt,” “bitch” and “whore.” I can’t tell you anyway, cause I’ve lost count. I can tell you I didn’t once deserve it.

10 p.m. Friday/Saturday night. A young woman in her 20s wants to go out dancing – by herself. Nothing should stop any young woman from going out dressed nicely because she just wants to go dancing and have fun. I think it’s sad that many young women do not feel like they can experience this amount of independence and freedom – I did.

Yes, it was amazingly ridiculous the amount of comments and attention I’d sometimes get from guys driving by in their cars just because I was wearing a skirt (even a fairly long one). ‘No, I don’t want a drive home from some stranger. It’s rather a warm summer night and I’m enjoying my walk home.’ Granted, some guys were nicer about it by doling out compliments like “Hey, gorgeous” or “Nice legs” and they didn’t get mad when I didn’t respond. Honking horns and whistling at me wasn’t particularly offensive either if they didn’t get mad when I ignored them. But, I did not like the “Hey, how much?” just because I was waiting at a bus stop for 5 minutes. I think a few times, I had to give some guys a lady-like finger because they were particularly rude. And yes, a few actually called me ‘bitch’ because I was ignoring them – not cool.

Point is, a woman should be able to get dressed up nicely, go out at night, and have fun without being overly worried about her safety (obviously, worrying about muggers and robbers is a thing both men and women would be concerned about). A man can go out to a bar by himself and not be suitably harassed and unsure about his safety around the opposite sex. Sure, I could wear jeans and a T-shirt and go dancing, but part of the fun of dancing is how clothes move when dancing. Having fun was indeed the point of me going dancing. Get it? As for walking home during the summer nights, that was fun for me too. I rather enjoy night-time during the summer. Not once have I ever regretted going out dancing by myself and walking home by myself. It gave me some great times to be myself, to get to know myself. Walking home gave me time for contemplation and also a chance to think over stuff, especially if I had a tough week at work. It was my way of keeping sane when working felt so confining and restrictive. I am basically not the kind of person that can sit at home for long without doing anything. If I feel like moving, that’s what I need to do.

I support SlutWalk for more reasons that just what I mentioned above, but I do hope that the young women these days will be able to experience the sense of independence and freedom like I did on those weekly jaunts out to the dance clubs (they don’t necessarily have to go dancing, it was just my example). Honestly, I think that if more women had experienced independence and freedom in their young adult years, it would probably have prevented a lot of the dependence that some women feel in their current relationships. This to me is key to a successful relationship – that both partners have a good sense of independence and freedom, that even if they are a couple, they are both still very much separate people. A relationship does not mean you lose your identity as a single person, it means that you gain another aspect to yourself as being part of a couple.

If SlutWalk can indirectly help future interpersonal relationships, then it is most definitely a very good thing.

~~~C
Your local SlutWalker

Addendum: I can understand guys if they want to express an appreciation for beauty, but sexual harassment is a different story. And yes, that goes both ways… some guys have been sexually harassed before.