Pneumatised!

MM,

Nathan showed me this interesting chart a few days ago and I had some amusing thoughts about it. The chart lists a few major religions and shows what followers in each religion thinks will happen to followers of the other ones. Seeing as they didn’t put Paganism or Wicca on the chart, I figure I might as well give an individual pagan’s perspective.

First, catholics – you will either go to heaven, purgatory, hell or are going to reincarnate depending on how nice you are to us pagans. I don’t particularly believe in hell, but since you’re so adamant about it existing, I figure you’ll end up there anyway if you don’t treat people of other spiritual backgrounds nice enough. Chances are though, most of you will reincarnate as you really don’t have a clue how life and death work. Purgatory is for those who have been toeing the line a little too often. Heaven is for those lucky few who manage to be very nice to everyone and become so enlightened you won’t reincarnate – you’ll probably see a few of us pagans there too.

Second, protestants – you almost fall into the same category as the catholics except since you don’t believe in purgatory, you’ll either go to heaven or hell or are going to reincarnate. Chances are you’ll reincarnate because you don’t have a clue either, just like the catholics. If you’re really mean to us pagans though, you’ll probably end up in hell since you believe in it so much. To get to heaven, see comment regarding catholics.

Third, mormons – you’re much nicer than the catholics and protestants and you have good hearts, though a little misguided. I think you’ll likely reincarnate because you don’t quite have the meaning of life and death yet. You’re not as clueless as the catholics or protestants though, so maybe a few of you will get to heaven this time around. Otherwise, if you heed my words, you might get to heaven in the next lifetime. As for hell, well, if you leave us pagans alone which you tend to do sometimes, you probably won’t go there.

Next, muslims – hm… thinking they’ll reincarnate like most of the mormons. Some muslims are quite enlightened though, so maybe they’ll get to heaven. Just stay away from crazy kamakazi maneouvres and you should stay away from hell.

Hindus and Buddhists will either go to heaven or reincarnate. They don’t tend to be as bad as the catholics, protestants, mormons, or muslims. They tend to relatively nice people, not shoving their beliefs at everyone else trying to convert them and they don’t tend to condemn someone just because of their spiritual background. Much more enlightened groups of people they are. Some may get to heaven this time or maybe in the next life.

Unitarians are quite nice folks. This is a toss-up. Because they are so nice, I’m hesitant to say they are going to reincarnate. They at least try to be nice to everyone and maybe they actually do have a clue. For now, I’ll say they’ll go to heaven (just to be nice back) and maybe us pagans will see them there.

Atheists and Agnostics, I hate to say this, but you’re probably going to be reincarnated in this sometimes miserable limited-dimension world that is comprised of nothing but suffering, as Buddha says “All life is suffering”. Sorry, but just because you can’t prove something exists doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. You won’t get to heaven frankly because you don’t believe in it and you really don’t have a clue. So another trip around the circle of life you go. Maybe next time, you’ll take my advice and just become pagan.

As for other pagans, we’ll all just go to our respective otherworldly places that we each believe in whether it be the Summerlands or Valhalla or Hades or the Egyptian underworld or just heading into the west a la Lord of the Rings elf-style or well you get the idea. There’s the off chance some might reincarnate because they may need to learn a few more lessons, but hopefully they’ll all just come back as pagans again.

Well, there you have it. Be nice to us pagans and you can’t go wrong.

BB,
Cassandrah
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